How do I manage and understand OCD?

Tara Blake
Jul 25
6 min read

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety-based condition where distressing obsessive thoughts lead to behaviours that try to reduce anxious feelings. These obsessions and compulsions often feel overwhelming, powerful, and out of our control—going far beyond the urge to tidy up or organize that many of us experience.

If intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviours are interfering with your daily life in Abbotsford, understanding OCD and learning management strategies can help you regain control and improve your quality of life. What You'll Learn:

What OCD really looks like beyond common stereotypes
Why searching for certainty often makes symptoms worse
Practical strategies for managing intrusive thoughts
When to seek professional help
How therapy can help you build a healthier relationship with your thoughts

Let's start with — What is OCD really?

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder goes far beyond perfectionism or wanting things organized. At its core, OCD is anxiety-based, where distressing obsessive thoughts lead to behaviours aimed at reducing anxious feelings. These obsessions and compulsions don't always make sense—they can feel overwhelming, powerful, and completely out of our control.

Characteristics of OCD can include:

Intrusive thoughts that seem random and out of context
Compulsions that feel urgent and necessary
Increased panic or distress when unable to perform the behaviour
Thoughts and actions that take priority over other important activities

A hallmark of OCD is attributing more meaning and power to thoughts than they actually have. The condition changes daily routines and commitments as people try to manage these overwhelming thoughts and behaviours.

Key Takeaway: OCD isn't about being neat or organized—it's about intrusive thoughts and behaviours that feel out of control and interfere with daily life.

How Does OCD Impact Daily Life?

Shame, Isolation, and Misunderstanding...

Many people with OCD experience significant shame, embarrassment, and self-judgement about their uncontrolled thoughts and behaviours. This often leads to:

Isolation: Trying to manage symptoms alone out of fear of judgement
Hiding symptoms: Disguising or avoiding situations that increase distress
Protecting others: Conscious of the impact on loved ones and trying to shield them
Self-blame: Feeling responsible for thoughts and behaviours that feel out of control

People with OCD are often very aware that their symptoms are irrational or illogical. They can make a good case for why they shouldn't be engaging in those thoughts or behaviours—yet the urges persist.

The Certainty Trap

From the outside, OCD sometimes looks like superstitions—attaching a behaviour to a particular outcome even though they're not related. The belief that our behaviour or thoughts have the power to influence events creates a cycle where:

Fear of negative outcomes drives compulsive behaviours
Searching for certainty and answers validates the fear and self-doubt
Learning more facts often increases rather than reduces symptoms

Pro Tip: Acceptance that things are not always in our control and that there's not always certainty is key to reducing OCD symptoms.

Understanding Your Relationship with Thoughts

Not All Thoughts Reflect Who You Are

One of the most important concepts in managing OCD is understanding that not all thoughts are a reflection of who we are, our values, or our actions.

Specifically, having intrusive thoughts that are violent, aggressive, or shocking does not mean that you agree with those thoughts or that they're true. Remember: It's just a thought. Not all thoughts require justification or action.

Why Fighting Thoughts Makes Them Stronger

Our relationship to our thoughts is what matters most. The more we try to:

Deny a thought because we judge it as shameful or scary
Argue with it or try to fix it
Push it away or replace it
Seek reassurance about it

By giving thoughts this attention, we're actually strengthening their hold on us.

Practical Strategies for Managing OCD

1. Challenge the Urgency

When the need to perform a compulsive action feels very urgent, remember that any relief you feel will only last a short time before the urge returns—often stronger than before.

Try these techniques:

Bring in moments of pause before acting
Delay the action if you can, even by a few minutes
Try to resist for just a moment longer each time

2. Accept Uncertainty

The more we search for solutions, for answers, and for certainty, the more time we spend with our doubts and fears.

Practice accepting:

You may not find a definitive answer
Some things are outside your control
Uncertainty is a normal part of life
Black and white thinking isn't always helpful

3. Use Self-Compassion During Difficult Times

If there are stressors in your life, it makes sense that your symptoms may worsen. Use compassion & understanding toward yourself to accept "some times it will be difficult". Remember: This is normal and temporary.

4. Explore Beyond Symptoms

The focus of OCD treatment is often on thoughts and behaviours, but this is only one element of the larger picture. Exploring these areas can help reduce anxiety and OCD symptoms:

Values: What matters most to you?
Meaning: What gives your life purpose?
Connection: How do you relate to others?
Grounding techniques: What helps you feel present?
Mindfulness: How can you observe thoughts without judgement?
Emotional awareness: What are you feeling beneath the anxiety?

Frequently Asked Questions About OCD

Is OCD just about being clean and organized?

No, OCD goes far beyond cleanliness or organization. While some people with OCD may have cleaning or organizing compulsions, others experience completely different symptoms like intrusive violent thoughts, checking behaviours, or mental rituals. The common thread is distressing thoughts that lead to behaviours aimed at reducing anxiety.

Do violent or disturbing thoughts mean I'm a bad person?

Absolutely not. Having intrusive thoughts that are violent, aggressive, or shocking does not reflect your character, values, or likelihood to act on those thoughts. These are symptoms of OCD, not reflections of who you are as a person.

Why do my OCD symptoms get worse when I try to fight them?

Fighting thoughts or compulsions often makes them stronger because you're giving them more attention and importance. The brain interprets this struggle as evidence that the thoughts are dangerous or meaningful, which reinforces the OCD cycle.

Can OCD be completely cured?

While OCD patterns may be long-lasting for many people, the impact on daily functioning and overall quality of life can be minimal with proper management. The goal is often learning to live well with OCD rather than eliminating it entirely.

When should I seek professional help for OCD?

Consider seeking help when OCD symptoms interfere with daily activities, relationships, work, or school. If you're avoiding situations, spending excessive time on compulsions, or feeling isolated due to your symptoms, a mental health professional can provide valuable support.

Building a Different Relationship with OCD

The process of understanding your experience of OCD and making long-lasting change takes time. For many people, it's a very personal journey, and over our lifespan, OCD may take different forms.

Key principles for managing OCD:

Focus on your relationship with thoughts rather than the thoughts themselves
Accept that some thoughts are not useful or true without needing to fight them
Understand that relief-seeking behaviours often worsen symptoms over time
Practice self-compassion during difficult periods
Remember that different strategies work for different people

Finding What Works for You

There are many ways to reduce OCD symptoms, but some interventions may work for a while or not work at all. Keep exploring and trying different approaches, or adapt strategies to fit your experience better.

Remember: Healing isn't linear, and what works for others might need tweaking for your unique situation.

Getting Support in Fraser Valley

If you're struggling with OCD in Abbotsford, Chilliwack, or anywhere in Fraser Valley, know that you don't have to manage this alone. At Eterna Counselling, we understand that OCD can feel isolating and overwhelming, but with the right support, you can develop a healthier relationship with your thoughts and reclaim your daily life. We believe in your ability to create meaningful change and find freedom from the patterns that feel out of control.

Self-Help Resources and Workbooks

"The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder"

by Bruce Hyman and Cherlene Pedrick (2010)

"Stuff That's Loud: A Teen's Guide to Unspiralling when OCD Gets Noisy"

by Ben Sedley and Lisa Coyne (2020)

"Talking Back to OCD: Helps Kids & Teens Say 'No Way' – & Parents Say 'Way to Go"

by John S. March

"Overcoming Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder"

by Veale & Willson

"The Beating OCD Workbook"

by Fitzgerald

"Brain Lock"

by Schwartz

Tara Blake, Registered Clinical Counsellor specializing in anxiety, OCD, trauma and PTSD therapy at Eterna Counselling in Abbotsford, BC

Tara Blake, RCC is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with Eterna Counselling who specializes in anxiety, OCD, trauma, and personal development. With her Master's in Counselling from City University and a trauma-informed, relational approach, Tara creates safe spaces where clients can explore overwhelming experiences and discover their own resilience. She combines evidence-based therapies including Emotion-Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and mindfulness-based practices to support meaningful change. Ready for personalized support? Our Abbotsford therapists are ready to help. Whether you're in Abbotsford, Chilliwack, or Mission, we're here to support your journey.