Parenting Deeply Feeling Children: Don't worry, you are not alone.

Tatiana Carballo
Apr 26
3 min read

Updated: May 1

Parenting a deeply feeling or neurodiverse child isn’t just a job—it’s a journey. Some days, it feels like a privilege. Other days, it feels like you’re barely treading water. If this resonates, let me share a little about my own experience, both as a therapist and as a parent. I remember sitting on the bedroom floor one night, emotionally drained and completely exhausted after my child had a tough day. The meltdowns, the questions, the sheer intensity of their feelings—it felt like too much. I questioned myself endlessly: Did I say the right thing? Was I patient enough? If you’ve ever felt this way, let me tell you something important: you’re doing better than you think.

In the moments between storms, we find our strength.

When you’re raising a child who feels deeply, their world can feel overwhelming, and your job as their steady anchor can be exhausting. You may feel like you’re falling short, but showing up every day matters more than you realize. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present. Your love and presence are what they need most.

As parents, we often carry the weight of society’s expectations—and the fear of judgment when our child doesn’t fit neatly into those expectations. Deeply feeling and neurodiverse children don’t always follow the same path as their peers. But here’s the truth: your child doesn’t need fixing. They need to be understood, supported, and celebrated for who they are.

In the middle of this, it’s easy to lose yourself in the demands of caregiving, but your well-being matters too! I want to offer you a few gentle reminders on how to support yourself during these tough times.

1. Self-Care is Essential

I get it—self-care might feel like a luxury you can’t afford, especially when you’re managing a whirlwind of emotions and needs from your child. But let me tell you this: if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll run out of steam. And if you’re running on empty, you can’t be the best version of yourself for your child. Whether it’s taking a moment to drink that hot cup of coffee, a bubble bath, or a walk in nature, those small breaks make a huge difference. It’s okay to step away for a minute—taking care of yourself is not only necessary, but it’s also modeling healthy habits for your child.

2. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Parenting a child with unique needs can feel isolating, especially when it seems like no one truly understands. But I want to remind you: you don’t have to walk this path by yourself. If you don’t have a support network, there are communities out there—both online and in-person—of other parents who get it. And don’t forget about therapy. As a parent, it’s just as important to have a space to process your feelings, frustrations, and fears. Talking to someone who understands can make all the difference, giving you perspective and the support you deserve.

3. Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect

It’s easy to feel guilty about needing space, or turning down requests for help, but setting boundaries is crucial. You’re only human, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Setting healthy boundaries means you’re able to show up for your child in the way they need—and that’s a win. Whether it’s saying no to extra commitments or asking for a break, it’s okay to make space for yourself. You deserve it.

4. Celebrate the Little Wins

Big milestones might not always happen on a neat timeline. But that doesn’t mean the small victories aren’t just as important. Maybe your child had a breakthrough in therapy, managed a social situation a little better, or simply had a calm day without a meltdown. These moments matter so much. They might seem small in the grand scheme of things, but they represent real progress. Celebrate those victories. You and your child are moving forward, even when it doesn’t feel that way.

5. Get Professional Support for You, Too

This might sound obvious coming from a therapist, but I can’t stress it enough: you need support too. Parenting a deeply feeling or neurodiverse child can be emotionally exhausting. Having a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings, and receive guidance on how to manage stress, is essential. Therapy for parents can help you build resilience, emotional regulation, and provide practical tools for managing the ups and downs of everyday life. I’m here to help if you feel ready to take that step. It’s all about finding the balance that works for you and your family.

Looking for More Support?

Parenting a deeply feeling child comes with its own set of joys and challenges, and having the right tools can make a world of difference. If you’re curious about understanding your child’s big emotions and building a stronger connection, I highly recommend The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene. This book offers practical strategies to help you work collaboratively with your child, creating solutions that foster understanding and growth.

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