Honouring Stories: Intergenerational Trauma, Healing, and Why This Work Matters

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN

• What intergenerational trauma is and how it shows up in everyday life

• How the legacy of residential schools and systemic harm creates ripple effects across generations

• Why these responses are not signs of weakness — they are adaptations to real and ongoing harm

• How healing is about restoring connection and honouring your story

• Practical starting points for beginning this work

• When therapy may be the right next step
  

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As a therapist, I often hold space for people navigating the impacts of trauma — both the kind that comes from individual life experiences, and the kind that is carried across generations. When working alongside Indigenous individuals, families, and communities, it is especially important to recognize that trauma does not exist in isolation. It is often deeply rooted in history, systems, and lived realities that continue to shape people today.

Intergenerational trauma is not just a concept. It is something that shows up in everyday life. It can influence how people experience relationships, safety, identity, parenting, and connection to culture. The legacy of residential schools, displacement, and systemic inequities has created ripple effects that are still felt across generations. These impacts are not a reflection of personal failure or weakness — they are adaptive responses to profound and ongoing harm.

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What Is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma refers to the ways that unresolved trauma — particularly trauma caused by systemic harm, violence, or displacement — is passed down through families and communities over time. It can show up in the nervous system, in patterns of relating, in how safety and connection feel, and in a sense of disconnection from identity or culture.

For Indigenous peoples in Canada, this trauma is inseparable from the history of colonization. The forced removal of children through the residential school system, the disruption of language and cultural practices, and the ongoing impacts of systemic inequity have left deep and lasting wounds. These are not historical footnotes. They are present-day realities.

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Why These Responses Make Sense One of the most important things I can offer as a therapist is this reframe: the ways that intergenerational trauma shows up are not signs of failure. They are signs that real harm occurred, and that people adapted in order to survive.

Hypervigilance, difficulty trusting, challenges with emotional regulation, patterns in relationships that feel hard to explain — these are not personal flaws. They are responses to environments that were genuinely unsafe. Understanding this context does not remove pain, but it can begin to shift shame into compassion.

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How I Approach This Work

In my work, I aim to approach intergenerational trauma with humility and awareness. That means recognizing that healing is not about "fixing," but about understanding context, restoring connection, and supporting each person in a way that honours their story. It also means acknowledging the strength, resilience, and cultural wisdom that exist within Indigenous communities — strengths that have endured despite generations of disruption.

This work is not only professional for me. It is also deeply personal.

As a caucasian mother raising Indigenous children, I am continually learning about what it means to support identity, belonging, and connection in a way that is respectful and grounded. I have had to reflect on my own position, my own learning edges, and the responsibility I carry in helping my children understand who they are within a broader cultural and historical context.

This has shaped how I show up — not just as a parent, but as a therapist. It has deepened my commitment to listening more than speaking, to staying open, and to recognizing that I will not always get it right. But that ongoing learning and accountability matter.

I understand that trust is not automatically given, especially within systems that have historically caused harm. Because of that, I approach this work with care, transparency, and a willingness to walk alongside rather than lead.

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Signs That Intergenerational Trauma May Be Showing Up in Your Life

• Patterns in relationships that feel hard to change, even when you want to

• Difficulty feeling safe, even in stable environments

• A sense of disconnection from identity, culture, or community

• Anxiety, depression, or emotional numbness that seems rooted in something larger than current circumstances

• Grief that does not feel fully explained by your own personal history

• Questions about who you are and where you belong These experiences are real, and they deserve to be met with understanding — not judgment.

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Practical Starting Points

If you are beginning to explore this work, here are a few gentle entry points:

1. Begin with curiosity, not judgment

You might notice patterns in your family, your relationships, or your own reactions that do not always make sense. Rather than asking "what is wrong with me?", it can be more helpful to ask "what might this be connected to?" Understanding the roots of your experiences can shift shame into compassion.

2. Reconnect in ways that feel right for you

Connection — to culture, community, land, or identity — can be a powerful part of healing. This does not have to look one specific way. Even small steps toward connection, at your own pace, can be meaningful.

3. Healing does not have to happen alone

Whether that is through therapy, community supports, Elders, or trusted relationships, healing often happens in connection with others. It is okay to take your time finding supports that feel safe and aligned for you.

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Common Myths About Intergenerational Trauma

Myth: Intergenerational trauma only affects people who personally experienced historical events.

Reality: Research shows that trauma can be transmitted through parenting patterns, nervous system responses, family dynamics, and cultural disconnection — meaning its effects are felt by people generations removed from the original harm.

Myth: Talking about the past makes things worse.

Reality: When approached safely and at the right pace, exploring the roots of painful patterns can reduce their grip and create space for genuine healing.

Myth: Healing means returning to who you were before.

Reality: Healing is about building something new — restoring connection, developing self-compassion, and creating a life that feels whole and meaningful within your current reality.

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When Therapy May Help

If you are noticing patterns rooted in intergenerational trauma — in your relationships, your sense of identity, or your emotional wellbeing — therapy can offer a space to explore those roots with care and without judgment.

I work with individuals navigating intergenerational trauma and cultural disconnection, including FNHA and CVAP clients, using narrative therapy, trauma-informed care, and a commitment to walking alongside rather than leading. If you are ready to begin, or simply curious about what this work could look like, I would be honoured to connect.

You can learn more about working with me or book a session here.

Healing does not mean erasing what happened. It means learning to carry your story with more understanding, more connection, and more compassion — for yourself, and for the generations that came before you

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FAQ SECTION

What is intergenerational trauma? Intergenerational trauma refers to unresolved trauma — often caused by systemic harm, violence, or displacement — that is passed down through families and communities over time. It can affect nervous system responses, relationship patterns, sense of identity, and connection to culture. For Indigenous peoples in Canada, this trauma is deeply linked to the history of colonization, including the residential school system.

How do I know if intergenerational trauma is affecting me? Signs can include unexplained relationship patterns, difficulty feeling safe, grief that seems larger than your own personal history, emotional numbness, disconnection from identity or culture, and anxiety or depression rooted in something that predates your own experiences. These responses are not personal failures — they are adaptive responses to real and ongoing harm.

Can therapy help with intergenerational trauma? Yes. Trauma-informed therapy can help you explore the roots of painful patterns, develop self-compassion, and begin to restore connection — to yourself, to others, and to your sense of identity and culture. Healing does not require returning to who you were before. It is about building something new within your current reality.

Does Eterna Counselling work with Indigenous clients and FNHA funding? Yes. Kayla Wild, RCC, RSW is FNHA registered and works with Indigenous individuals navigating intergenerational trauma and cultural disconnection. CVAP clients are also welcome. Sessions are available in person in Abbotsford and Chilliwack.

How do I start therapy for intergenerational trauma in Abbotsford or Chilliwack? You can book directly through Kayla Wild's profile at eternacounselling.ca. New client intake forms are available for both the Abbotsford and Chilliwack locations. If you are unsure where to start, reaching out to admin@eternacounselling.ca is always a welcome first step.