We are always talking about connecting with others. About how we can stay in connection or create more connections with others. But what we don’t talk about much, is the connection with ourselves. About why it is so important to gain self-awareness and self-knowledge. How self-awareness and self-knowledge help us to evolve and change into the person we want to become.
Today on Therapy Thursday, I am talking all about connection to self and why it is so important to gain self-awareness.
The longest relationship you will have is with yourself! Self-awareness and self-knowledge are KEY to that relationship. Self-awareness and self-knowledge is about understanding who you are and that is the foundation of therapy and self-help. The whole point of therapy is to gain self-awareness to make the changes in your life that you want to make. It is so important to our essence of discovering who we are and who we want to become.
The biggest mistake that some people will make is this weird assumption that once we have a self-awareness that it is stagnant, it never changes. When we talk about our values, wants, desires, and goals there is this idea that they never change and that they always stay the same. But that is not true. We are constantly changing as human beings. Our world, the experiences we have, and the obstacles that we go through, are constantly changing us. If you had taken a personality test a few years ago and then took one right now, the results would likely be different. Why? Because we are constantly changing due to what is happening in our lives.
Take grief as an example. Grief is one of the biggest predictors of personal change. Grief is a change maker! As it should be – grief should change us, it would be strange to go through a great loss and come out to be the same person we were before grief.
Part of finding connection within yourself is to see yourself as this magical being, this being who is always adjusting and growing. Adjusting to our circumstances and growing to become different human beings than we were three or five years ago. The relationship you have with yourself, that constant connection is always changing and evolving. Self-awareness of this is an ongoing thing.
That is the #1 piece of information you need to know about connection with oneself. That you will always be changing. So it is important to stay curious and be engaged about yourself. Ask the questions:
- What is different about me now than three to five years ago?
- What do I hope is different three to five years from now compared to where I am today?
- What can I see on the horizon that is possibly going to change me?
- How can I be curious about the change instead of fearful?
Be curious about the person you are and the person you are becoming when going through change. Because being openly curious without judgment or expectations of how it should be or shouldn’t be is the essence of connection to self. Really focus on the fact that your life circumstances are always evovling and changing you. You will not be the same person five years from now that you are today. And if you are? Then that is problematic. That means you are too rigid, you are not adjusting, not growing, and not taking life experiences to become a new version of yourself.
The curiosity of being in a relationship with yourself brings so much goodness.