Tis the Season of long Christmas lists, frustration in the parking lots, a never-ending repeat of holiday music, Pinterest-worthy wrapped gifts (more likely Pinterest fails), stress over having all the ‘right’ food for the biggest family dinner of the year, and the yearly struggle of deciding if sending Christmas cards is worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Grinch. I have loved this season but not for the twinkly lights, all the gatherings, or the ‘cheer’ that everyone proclaims. I love the time for reflection, tis the season for reflection!
Perhaps, my desire for reflection at this time of year is a bit nerdy – if not nerdy, then for sure, it doesn’t line up with our current holiday celebration. How we’ve forgotten the holiday letters we used to get summarizing yearly highlights and some low lights. In this light, we have traditionally used this time of year to reflect and share those reflections with others. When did we lose this practice?
Reflection is defined as “a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration; a thought occurring in consideration or meditation”. It’s basically the act of thinking about something and giving it some consideration – it’s thinking about our thinking to create meaning in our experiences. The kicker is that we’re built for reflection, we do it naturally if we give ourselves the time and space to do it. How often do you give yourself this time and space? In today’s culture of ‘busy’, we are running from one thing to the next without any pause – leading to compounding stress which can have grave consequences such as anxiety, lack of sleep, headaches, reactivity, irritability, depression, and disconnection. We then turn to more stimuli to help us feel better; guess what’s most easily available? Your phones – social media.
I invite you to come with me on my year-end practice of reflection by grabbing a journal and writing about some of these questions:
- What are all the things that happened this year? All the good, challenging, hard, and joyful. Go through each month and brain dump all the things that happened in your life – things you created and chose and things you didn’t. For example, holidays, trips, day trips, goals reached, challenging conversations, hard changes, celebrations – all the things!
- What am I most proud of? What did it take for me to navigate the challenges? This is an opportunity to note what it took from you – did you have to set boundaries? Did you have to stand in courage? Did you stand up for yourself? Were you resourceful? It’s not enough to identify the challenges you faced, it’s important to connect to what skills it took to navigate those challenges – this is how we continue to grow.
- What could I do better next time? Take some time to reflect on how you can improve your skills moving forward – all experiences can be lessons if we engage in reflection on how we want to grow. Change doesn’t happen by accident; change and growth come with intention.
Remember that humans have always had time for reflection – especially in winter as the days are shorter and colder. It’s only in the most recent time in history that we are working equally as hard in the winter as we do in the summer with the advent of electricity and technology. We are built for reflection – we have to choose to put down distractions, be intentional about carving out time, and actively engage in reflection. Trust me, it’s worth it!!!
