To say that 2020 has been a hard year is an understatement – I would call it more like a year of living in the twilight zone or real-life Hunger Games. I think it’s safe to say that we had no idea what 2020 would bring and with a couple of months left, who knows what else is in store.
When something goes wrong in our lives or we are struggling through tough times we always go to a negative space. And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Because it’s just our natural human experience. It’s what we do as human beings. It’s our brain’s way of surviving.
It has absolutely nothing to do with your character!
And a lot of the time we think switching our mindset from negative to positive will help us. Well, it won’t. Why? Because we can’t go from on end of the pendulum to other, it’s impossible, it’s not how our minds work. And when we’re constantly focused on making hard things good superficially, we miss the opportunity to dig into that well and find out what’s hiding in there. You can read more about moving from negative to positive here.
So, that’s it there’s nothing we can do? Just stay in this negative space? NO, NO, NO, there is something we can do. But, it most definitely takes practice.
We can ground our situations with a different meaning. Sounds simple, right? For some, it may be easier said than done, and that’s 100% okay. It takes time and practice but if you can start today you’ll get there.
As you practice creating meaning for these situations I want you to remember this… We are all made to do hard things – there is a deep well inside all of us that is filled with courage, bravery, tenacity, determination and grit.
Here’s an example from us at Eterna…
We’re in a pandemic where things are uncertain, wild, and it feels like we’re living in a twilight zone. But, this pandemic has also opened up a door for us that we would have never explored pre-COVID. That door? Offering our services outside of Abbotsford – across the province, the country, and even the world. Some of you reading this right now might be situated outside of our ‘local’ area, and there’s the proof! So, with this attached meaning we are finding that ‘surviving’ through these tough times is bearable.
Getting through these tough times isn’t in the ‘grin and bear it’ approach – it’s in the dig deep down to find out what you’re made of approach. And digging deep down to figure it out is where we are able to create different meanings to difficult times.
During tough times we tend to ask a lot of questions to try and gain an understanding of what’s happening. We ask ‘why is this happening‘, ‘why me‘, ‘when will this get better‘ – but, what we really need to ask ourselves is ‘what does this make possible?’ Tough times can create an opportunity to shift and reorganize your life.
What is made possible through tough times?
Just remember, we are built through tough times, not the easy-breezy experiences. We’ve been through many other tough times and got out, right? We need to have these challenges so that we can discover our values, our beliefs, and what we’re willing to fight for. We all have those lines and we truly uncover who we are when we have to stand up for them – strong values mean that we have to lose something to keep them.
I hope this was helpful! For a more empowering chat about this topic watch my latest Coffee Talk on asking yourself the magic question “what does this make possible?” here.
If you are interested in booking a session with one of our therapists contact us here.