The holiday season is filled with twinkly lights, our favorite Christmas tunes, trees, and all the decorations – and exhausted women! When I think about my childhood and the magic of Christmas, I now realize that it was all due to my mom. She bought all the presents, organized the decorating, baked all the delicious goodies, brought all our family together, and made Christmas morning magical for us. Each year she brought the Christmas magic to our home and each year she was exhausted by the end of it all. So how can women reduce holiday stress? Keep on reading.
How did Christmas become yet another burden for women to carry? Was there an allocation of duties thousands of years ago that delegated the celebrations of the holidays as a ‘pink’ job? I don’t really buy into the ‘pink’ vs. ‘blue’ jobs – whereby household and family duties are delegated based on gender as if at birth we are either responsible for 80% of the work based on the luck of the draw.
Women carry the vast majority of the emotional load in relationships ranging from organizing fun events to dentist appointments to birthdays to Christmas. Perhaps it’s in part due to our ‘natural’ tendency to nurture those around us or it’s what we observed growing up or it’s the culture that puts more and more pressure on women to do it all – and do it all perfectly.
What if you didn’t? What if you didn’t do Christmas? What would happen? I bet that part of you is filled with peace at being able to let it all go and have some room to breathe and the other part of you says ‘then who will do it?’
What can you do differently this year? Let go of perfection!
Perfection is not the route to joy – in fact, perfection is the thief and murderer of joy. Perfection lures us in with promises of joy and laughter and twinkly lights that make up the set of a Hallmark Romcom. The reality is far from the illusion – it’s frazzled energy, sleepless nights, lists upon lists of shit to do, frantic shopping to find a turkey, wrapping gift after gift, and then feeling like a failure because you forgot to get a gift for that one random person you see once a year.
Let perfection go. Actually, tell perfection to fuck right off!
Here are some ways to women can reduce holiday stress:
- Allow yourself to celebrate all that you do – how you make the holidays magical for those around you.
- Tell yourself that you did enough and you gave it your all – and that your all is good enough.
- Remind yourself that this time of year is not about all the flashy commercialism, but it’s about the spirit of the holidays and connecting to those we love.
- Challenge the notion that the only way to enjoy the holiday is to be in a relationship – being single can be a fun way to spend the holidays because you’re not in an unhealthy situation.
- Let yourself off the hook from having Instagram-worthy moments – instead, live in those moments and don’t post them.
- Give yourself permission to laugh and find joy – you deserve to hold on to the warmth of the memories you’re creating.
Remember that you matter – your needs wants and desires matter. You deserve to celebrate yourself and all that you do with those around you. Christmas isn’t a ‘pink’ job – let that shit go!
Because let’s face it, you’re tired. And just maybe, we can make the holiday season about rest, restoration, and appreciating those in our life that we love and receive some nurturing as well.
May you get some good restful sleep,
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