Why New Year’s Resolutions DON’T Work

In my latest Coffee Talk I discussed New Year’s resolutions and why don’t work.

You can check out the full video here:

The way we frame New Year’s resolutions is usually tied to hope and wishful thinking. It’s this strategy of hoping and wishing for something to happen or for something to change in your life. This is not a strategy at all.

It’s like wishing upon a star wanting things to be different, but there’s absolutely no strategy attached to it.

Think about it, how do you New Year’s resolutions usually start?

They sometimes start with thoughts of “I’m going to lose this weight, I’m going to go to the gym x times a week, I’m going to get fit, or be healthier” – all the wishful things we want around New Year’s.

It’s like this hope we put out into the universe and we just think that putting out the intention into the world is somehow going to give us back some outcome that we’re looking for. But the truth is, that’s not how it works!

I know you’ve set goal before, we all have. And usually these goals are really superficial, they have no meaning to us. It means we’ve set goals that we think is what we should be doing or maybe it’s something everyone else around us is focusing on – but we’re not really setting goals that speak to our hearts.

Without a meaningful goal, we have this airy-fairy kind of superficial goal that we tend to lose track of and then there’s no motivation, no determination to work through it, no push to push through the hard stuff that comes with working towards goals.

We’ve skipped a step.

In order to correct this, we first need to start dreaming. And I talk a lot about this in last week’s blog too.

When you start to dream about something bigger than yourself, bigger than what’s possible – you push the boundaries out of the limits that you’ve set for yourself.

Let me explain it better.

We all have these limits in our minds about what we can do, can’t do, what’s possible, what’s not possible. We come up with ALL the excuses of why we can do thing or not do this thing.

And when we sit ourselves in a place of dreaming – imagining all things, audacious things, really big things, especially the things out of our reach – then we allow our minds to move beyond those limits, those self-limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves.

And we actually move beyond it very quickly when we start from a place of dreaming.

Ask yourself…

  • What would I like to see for myself in 2021?
  • What would I like to see different in my life, in the new year?
  • What areas of growth do I want to focus on?
  • Where do I want to stretch myself just a little bit more?

This process isn’t about aiming for perfection or trying to change other people, it’s about figuring out what you want for yourself.

Some people might feel this sounds selfish – but selfishness is about getting your needs met at the expense of somebody else. That’s not what we are doing here. We are tuning inwards, into your heart, your mind, your desires, your dreams of what you want for yourself in 2021.

And because 2020 has been such a crazy year, we all deserve to dream a little.

Dreaming and setting goals allows us to get some of our autonomy back. Our autonomy has been taken through the many restrictions put in place this year. Without this autonomy, we can feel lost and powerless. But, dreaming and setting goals can help us regain that power. It can help us feel a sense of internal power within our hearts, our souls, and our minds.

But first, we must start from a place of dreaming.


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