How to make it through BIG changes.

How comfortable are you with change?

Chances are, you’re not comfortable with it at all. If you were you wouldn’t have all this fear, worry, or anxiety holding you back. As humans, we like to hold tightly to the concept of control and permanence. And this false hope is silly. It really is! Thousands of years before us, humans knew that controlling everything in our lives was next to impossible and change was accepted. Why? Because change naturally occurs all the time with everything! Our environment is constantly changing, relationships are changing, our bodies are always changing, even our decisions change from time to time. Everything is changing, and that is 100% okay!!

So, why do you hold on? What does holding on to control give you? I’ll tell you, it gives you a false sense of peace, safety and power that inevitably will come crumbling down when things don’t go your way or when something hard happens that is out of your control. I know how you feel and if you had met me 5 years ago, I too was a person who was convinced that I could control my life and all the outcomes for the most part. My life came to a rude awakening with the sudden death of my husband – there was nothing I could do to prevent that and no matter how much I felt in control of my life and safe within this control, that control was an illusion.

Nothing is permanent.

Sounds scary right? It doesn’t have to be. Nothing is permanent is a difficult concept for us to live with because it brings up fear – a fear that drives us to hold on strongly. But what if that knowledge would allow you to live more in the moment and celebrate all the small things that make up your life? I can tell you that I’m a different person today than I was before grief radically transformed my life. I take more risks, I enjoy the small moments with people, I have found a deeper love for people, I don’t sweat the small challenges and I just don’t stress about life anymore. Because in the grand scheme of things, I don’t control anything besides how I choose to respond to life! And I choose to embrace the impermanence of it all and find joy as much as possible. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have emotions, I have a ton of them! I simply don’t hold on to them for long, well because things are always changing and nothing is permanent.

When you begin to accept that you are living in a place where everything is changing, it can be either terrifying or exciting. This hard time you’re having, it won’t last. The decision in front of you, it won’t last. The difficult argument you’re having, it wont’ last. The fun that you’re having with your little kids, it won’t last. The veggies you’re gathering from your garden, it won’t last. All of it will change, shift and cycle in the way that life always does. There can be a sense of peace and relief in knowing that you don’t actually control any of it, and that it won’t last. Yes it might be scary at first, but this is life, change is okay, change is good and it helps us grow into better versions of ourselves.

What would happen if you embraced the knowledge that things are in a constant state of change? Because they are – from your body to your life to the universe, everything is either evolving and changing or its dying. You can’t stop it from changing so why bother? The harder you hold on to keeping something the same, the more you’ll notice that its changing.

In the process of accepting change I encourage you to find trust in yourself. Trust yourself to make it through this difficult time, trust yourself that you will work your through the change and come out stronger, trust yourself to be 100% you, to make the decisions that YOU know you need to make. You can do this!

Check out my latest video where I discuss this concept of change and the fear of the unknown.

Journal Prompts:

  • What happens when you hold on tightly to prevent something from changing? What price do you pay in doing so?
  • Think of a time when you embraced change, what did that feel like?
  • How can you increase your comfort with change by 10%?
  • What can you do today to let go of something that you know you need to release?

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Cecilia

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