Online dating seems to be the #1 way that people these days are connecting. We live in a culture where time is of the essence and people all over the place are “so busy”. I often wonder how my grandmother did it all….run a farm, be a mother and wife, maintain a household full of people and still manage to make the best chocolate chip cookies on the planet. I realize that she didn’t have internet or social media or even a car for part of her life. She worked when sun came up and went to bed when the sun went down. In many ways, her life was harder yet simpler.
Taking the time to create an online profile that reflects who you really are is vital. People often get caught up in presenting a mask of who they think they “should” be instead of being vulnerable and honest. The consequence is that people are picking you for who you say you are and not your true self. Rejection is part of the dating process, so the mask isn’t worth it at all.
I find that the best way to know who you really are is to ask those around you that you respect what they would say about you. Take a fun survey with your friends, family and co-workers. Ask for honest and gentle feedback on how they would describe you and what they would say about your character. Use this as a foundation of how you describe yourself in your profile. Often, those trustworthy people in our lives know us better than we know ourselves.
Share Deal Makers and Breakers
Take some time to share a condensed version of your Deal Makers and Breakers (from previous blog post). Put it out there and own it! You don’t want to be with someone who smokes? Then say that. You want to get married? Then say that. Honesty and transparency will be appreciated by someone who is looking for the same things. Will people reject you based on your list? YES! And that’s good because they are not a good fit for you then.
The Value of Honesty
I have had many conversations with people about their profiles and what they say about themselves. Too many times, people claim to be someone they are not. Do you hike every weekend? Like….seriously…do you? Or do you want to be that person? Be honest! If you don’t do it, then don’t claim it to be true. Do you love the gym? Or do you have a membership for the last year and haven’t been for months? You can be a human being with faults and beauty. You don’t have to like what others like just because it seems that you “should”.
Enjoy the process
Have a bit of fun! Online dating can be daunting and overwhelming. There are a lot of people out there dating and looking. It can feel like a shopping catalogue where everyone is just looking for the next best thing. Be lighthearted about it and realize that putting yourself out there is an act of courage. Dating is supposed to be fun and can be an adventure in getting to know new people. A great connection can be next profile you read!
Happy online profile writing!