4 Steps to rebuild connection in your marriage

Couple holding hands


I often say that in some ways our grandparents got it right when it came to marriage and relationships. What did they get right? They didn’t have as many distractions and demands on them such as Facebook, checking emails or text messages or being pulled in all directions all at once. They had the time to do what they do best and then went home to their families. I don’t see this through rose coloured glasses, but I often wonder how marriages would fare today if there wasn’t so much pressure to be perfect. It takes intention to keep connection alive in a relationship and although it doesn’t have to be considered “work”, it does require purposeful attention.

The love story of marriage

It becomes easy to be pulled into everyday life and forget why you chose each other to begin with. Take some time and re-remember why you wanted to be with your partner in the beginning? When things were fun and exciting, why did you want to be with that person? What was it about them and their personality that made you want to date them to begin with? Couples often forget their beginning love story and can get sucked into the daily stress of life which creates disconnection in relationships. When you take some time to re-remember what you fell in love with to begin with, you can reconnect with that love story that brought you together in the first place.

The legacy of your marriage

What do you want the legacy of your marriage to be? I know that this is a hard question and one that most people never consider for their relationship. What is a legacy? Something that is handed down. If we can see a relationship to be more than completing the day to day activities of life together, but instead see it as a living and breathing thing that both partners contribute to…then what do you want the legacy of that relationship to be?

Work hard

Finding something you can work at together can be revitalizing to a relationship. This can take the form of a project, home renovations, making a garden, you name it! Working together to strategize accomplishing a goal can bring a couple together to find new ways of communicating and problem solving. It’s not about right or wrong, but more about how to complete your goal together.

Play, that’s right, just play

Ask yourself, when is the last time that you played with your partner? When is the last time that you laughed together? I mean really laughed? When was the last time you had fun together? Every relationship gets bogged down by the demands of life and fun is put aside for a later time, but most couples forget to bring the fun back again. When you have fun together, you are connecting and nurturing your relationship and each other. Having fun is what most people did at the beginning of their relationship and this is how you created a connection with your partner in the first place. So, go out and have some fun!


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